For most of my life, I fantasized about accepting an award on TV and using the moment to gloat. In my dreams I would verbally give the finger to any and all persons whom I determined had done me wrong. Ex girlfriends, former employers,  tough guys in school and jerks who gave me bad reviews on cruise ships. They would all feel so small as I delivered the line, “…How ’bout DEM apples, huh? You jerks! You SOBs! You thought YOU had the apples, and you’re wrong!  I do! You can all KISS MY ASS!!!!” In the fantasy the apples were of course, shiny things, money and broads who didn’t speak English fighting over who would sit on my lap in the limo.

That was the fantasy of an angry young man with effed up priorities. Sure, I still would love as many shiny things as possible, please. But as I move forward in life, I would gladly trade all the cool stuff for the health and safety of my family and friends. The mere fact that I still have my family and friends in my life is such a gift. To be honest, my being alive is a gift as well.

I have a wife who loves me, and a daughter who laughs at the funny things I do. I have a healthy, loving family back east who support every thing I do. My in-laws are the most generous patient people walking the earth, and my friends are numerous and beautiful. I have a loyal fan base which takes the time to listen to my radio show EVERY day, and make me feel good about the work I’m doing.

My relationship with God is more two-way than it’s ever been, and the opportunities in my career are numerous.

I’m loved, I’m alive, I’m a father, I’m sober and I’m going to kiss my wife right now.

How ’bout them apples?